Among Us Logic 2/Transcript

Spiked
(Player is shooting asteroids.)

Player: Come on! Almost there! As soon as I clear all the asteroids, the Crewmates win!

(Unbeknownst to Player, the vent opens and Ninja climbs out.)

Player: This is it! One more to go!! Victory is mi-

(Suddenly, Ninja impales Player through the face with a needle tongue and drags his tongue up, splitting his head in half. He and Bro win as The Impostors.)

Bullying is Quite an Affair
Player: Ugh.. I'm sick of being a boring Crewmate all the time!

Bro: Stop whining just cuz' I beat you so bad!

Player: What are you talking about, Bro? You got voted off before you even killed anyone! Ninja did all the work!

Ninja: 感謝 (Thanks!)

Bro: Wow, sore loser much? Why don't you just leave game and cry about it?

Player: Just wait until I get to be The Imposter! Then you'll see!

Bro: Yeah, OK, whatever, dork! Come on Ninja, let's gloat over all the other people we beat!

Ninja: あなたの顔は醜いです、そして、あなたの帽子は不自由です. (Your face is ugly, and your hat is crippled.)

Bro: Yeah, just let me do the talking.

Player: (sighs) Maybe he's right...

TheGentleman: Is something bothering you, Mr. Player?

Player: Oh, hey TheGentleman. I dont know.. I'm just so sick of losing! And Bro's teasing is starting to get to me..

TheGentleman: Ah, yes, Bullying.. It's quite a ugly affair.

Mr. Cheese: My name Mr. Cheese!

(TheGentleman swiftly turns around and throttles Mr. Cheese.)

TheGentleman: SHUT UP, MR. CHEESE!!! (Turns back to Player) I'm sorry, Mr. Player, this simpleton made me lose my train of thought!

Player: You were talking about bullying...?

TheGentleman: Ah, yes. Nasty stuff. Truly despicable!

Player: Right. Well, why dont you introduce me to all these people I've haven't played with yet!

TheGentleman: Bloody good idea! Well, you've already played with Stoner and Captain.

Player: Yeah, I remember them from the first episode!

TheGentleman: Episode?

Player: Oh, uh, nothing. Nevermind.

TheGentleman: The next person on our list is Mother, who takes the role-playing aspect of this game... a little too literally..

Mother: Don't talk to me or my son ever again!

TheGentleman: Followed up, of course, by PoopyFarts96, he-heh, who never ceases to tickle me silly! Lastly on our list, we have Goober! Goober is... well... Goober.

Player: Seems like quite the cast.

TheGentleman: Yes, indeed!

Captain: Lock and load everybody! Time to start the game!

Idiot Imposters
(Player and Mr. Cheese are The Impostors. Everyone arrives in The Skeld and rushes off to do their tasks. Player, Mr. Cheese and TheGentleman go to Admin.)

Player: OK, Player, just play it cool.

TheGentleman: Play what cool, Mr. Player?

Player: Oh, uh, nothing! Just doing my Crewmate tasks, heh. This keycard is so hard to swipe.

TheGentleman: Yes, indeed it is!

Mr. Cheese: My name Mr. Cheese!

TheGentleman: FOR THE LAST TIME, QUIET YOU BAFOON! YOU SPINELESS, GOODFORNOTHING, INCONTEPENT, ILL PUFFER-

Mr. Cheese: My name MR CHEESE!

(Mr. Cheese draws a knife and stabs TheGentleman to death, then continues even though he's dead.)

Player: OK, OK, enough! You got him!

Mr. Cheese: Mr. Cheese do good, boss?

(Ninja walks into the room.)

Ninja: 本気で. (Seriously?)

The Cheesy Giveaway
(The body is reported.)

Captain: Wow, that happened fast! Anybody see anything?

Ninja: チーズさん、診察室で紳士を殺した! (Cheese-san killed Gentleman in examination room!)

Captain: Sorry, pal. I don't speak the ol' Mexicano. But I'm going to assume you said, "I have no idea who the killer is! You're awesome, Captain. Keep being awesome!"

Mother: Please everyone, I need you to speak up if you have a lead! You don't know what it's like to raise a family in a world with 2 Imposters!

Stoner: Well, dudes, it's not me!

Bro: Yeah, Stoner and I were together doing non-murder related things!

Captain: Well, than that rules you two out! But, its got to be someone. Think, people!

Bro: You know, Player has been suspiciously quiet this whole meeting!

Player: Uh...

Mr. Cheese: Hey, how do I go into the vents like Ninja did?

Ninja: えっ. ！(Huh?!)

Goober: ITS THE NINJA! KILL HIM!

Captain: Loving the enthusiasm there, Goober, but we live in a civilized society! First we vote with no hard evidence, THEN we kill him! All those in favour of casting Ninja into the cool, limitless void of space, say aye!

Everyone Except Ninja: Aye!

Ninja: すぐに！私じゃありません！(One minute! It's not me!)

(Ninja is ejected.)

Captain: Well, normally, I would call you out for suspicious activity, but I'm just going to chalk that one down to classic Mr. Cheese tomfoolery.

Bro: Yeah, Mr. Cheese is too stupid to be a good Imposter!

Stoner: He isn't like, a super big brain boy like the 3 of us.

Mother: He's a absolute moron!

Goober: Haha! Mr. Cheese dumb!

(Mr. Cheese loses his temper, grabs Goober's hat and begins slamming her down repeatedly on the floor. He then draws a knife.)

Goober: Uhhh... No! Stop!

(Mr. Cheese begins stabbing Goober to death. Everyone stares shocked, as PoopyFarts96

Baby Problems
Captain: OK, it seems we may have underestimated Mr. Cheese.

(Everyone runs off. Player walks to the east part of the map.)

Player: OK, there's only a few people left! Time to get my first kill.

(Player looks into Navigation and sees Mother calibrating the steering.)

Player: Yes, all alone. Perfect opportunity to strike!

(Player slowly creeps towards Mother, about to stab her in the back of the head. Suddenly, Mother turns around, and Player hides the knife before she can see it.)

Mother: Oh hey, Player!

Player: Oh, uh, hey!

Mother: Can you believe Mr. Cheese back there? Murdering someone in broad daylight like that?

Player: Yeah, heh. Crazy!

Mother: In front of the children no less! I mean, what kind of horrible, despicable, rotten, good-for-nothing scumbag would do something like that?

Player: Oh, well, when you put it like that-

Mother: Timmy here is the captain of his peewee softball team! You want to see a picture?

Player: Uh, maybe some other ti-!

(Mother shows Player a picture of Timmy wearing a baseball outfit.)

Mother: Look at him! Isn't he adorable?

Player: Yeah, he's cute, alright...

Mother: That's because he takes after his mother! Here, hold Franklin while I finish this task.

(Mother hands Player Franklin, who looks adorable.)

Player: Yeah, I don't think I can do this.

Mother: Do what?

Ejecting the Captain
(Fortunately, Stoner calls a meeting before Player can answer.)

Stoner: Dudes, Captain has been following me around everywhere, and its like, really harshing my mellow!

Captain: Wow, Stoner! And here I thought we were having a pleasant evening together!

Bro: You better have a good excuse, bromigo! That sounds seriously sus!

Captain: I was following Stoner because I had finished all my tasks, and its safer to travel as a pack! I call that the buddy system, although now it feels like the Betrayal-stab-me-in-the-backey-system!

Bro: Yeah, everyone who's voting for Captain say aye?

Everyone Except Captain: Aye!

Captain: So it's a mutiny, then...

(Captain is ejected.)

The Kill Countdown's Verdict
Stoner: OK.. So I may have been a little paranoid there for a sec. But that's a side effect of... playing Among Us for too long.

(Everyone scatters. Player goes to the west side of the map.)

Player: OK. I've been seriously lucky thus far, but it's time I take matters into my own hands!

Player: I'm sorry, PoopyFarts96... You were always my favourite.

(Player snaps PoopyFart's neck, killing him. He farts.)

Player: Ha ha ha!

Stoner: What's so funny, dude?

(Player turns around swiftly. Fortunately, stoner doesn't see PoopyFarts.)

Player: Oh, nothing! Just remembering something PoopyFarts told me!

Stoner: Yeah, that dude's hilarious! Anyways, better do my task in here!

Player: Wait wait wait! Before you do that, let's... go across the hall to the security office!

Stoner: Why?

Player: Well, we gotta make sure no one's doing anything sus in there!

Stoner: Right on, brother!

(Player's cooldown reaches 0. He immediately takes out a gun and shoots Stoner in the face.)

Player: Gotta hide!

(Player vents away. Mother walks into the room.)

Mother: Oh my God!

One Cheesy Slice to Ruin it All
(Mother reports the body.)

Bro: Where?

Mother: I found two bodies, both in the Reactor!

Bro: You see anything?

Mother: No, but I thought I heard someone go into the vents.

Player: Well, it obviously has to be Bro!

Bro: What?! I was on the other side of the map!

Mother: Why do you think it's Bro?

Player: Well, I... Uh...

Bro: See, he's lying! It's clearly him!

Player: No, wait! Mother, if I was The Imposter, why didn't I kill you in Navigation before?

Mother: That's true! You know what? I believe you, Player! Lets vote Bro out!

Bro: Hey, wait a second-

(Suddenly, Mr. Cheese slams into the window.)

Mr. Cheese: Oh, hey guys! Hey Player, did we win as The Impostors yet?

(Mother and Bro glare at a nervous Player. He is ejected.)

Player: This game sucks.

Mr. Cheese: My name Mr. Cheese!

Player: Shut up, Mr. Cheese...