Friday Night Funkin' Logic/transcript

A New Game
Player: All right, here we go. Friday Night Funkin', apparently this game is supposed to be amazing.

Girlfriend: Oh, it is.

Player: Huh?

Girlfriend: Hi there, my name is Girlfriend! In this game you compete with my family and ex-boyfriends to earn my affection.

Player: But I don't even know you yet, couldn't you be a psychopath or something?

Girlfriend: [Laughs] You're so funny Boyfriend.

Player: It's Player.

Girlfriend: [Giggles] Of course it is, Boyfriend! Now don't you wanna learn how to play the game?

Player: Yeah, sure.

Girlfriend: See those arrows above your head?

Player: Huh, neat.

Girlfriend: When the musical notes line up with the displayed above, press the correspondent button on your keyboard!

Player: Musical notes?

Girlfriend: From the songs, of course! [Laughs] Don't worry, it's really easy! Come on, I'll show you!

Player: Um, ok?

Girlfriend: All right, here we go!

[Song starts]

Girlfriend: Up, down, left, right, up, down, left, right, now you try!

Player: Up, down, left, right

Girlfriend: Yeah, you got it!

Player: Up, down, left, right

Girlfriend: Now try, up up down, left left right, up up down, left left right

Player: Up up down, left left right, up up down, left left right

Girlfriend: Up right up right right down left, up right left left down right left

Player: Up right right up right down left, up left left left

Girlfriend: Not exactly, up, left, down right down left, up left left left right right left right

Player: Up right right, down right left, down left left left right right right right

[Song ends]

Player: So, was that it? Did I win?

Girlfriend: I mean, technically you passed the tutorial. But if you struggled with that at the end things at looking pretty bad for you.

Player: Oh, man!

Gently Funking
Genty Dearest:So,it comes to my attention that you plan to engage in a romantic partnership with my daughter,Girlfriend.

Player:Wait,you named your daughter Girlfriend?

Girlfriend:Yes Genty Dearest.I am going to be with Boyfriend forever and you just need to accept that.

Player:Okay,I think we are getting ahead of ourselves here.I mean, you seem great and all,but I've made absolutely zero advances towards you.

Genty Dearest:Girlfriend,I can't let you date this little runt! I mean look at him!He's a total loser.

Player:Wow,okay.I'm right here man.

Girlfriend:He's not a loser and he's gonna prove it by beating you in a one-on-one music battle to the death!

Player:Yeah!Wait,what was that last part?!?!

Genty Dearest:Oh we'll see about that.I'm a retired rock star you know.

Player:Well,that seems like a disproportionate advantage.

Girlfriend:Quiet!It's about to start!

[Song starts]

Genty Dearest:You know what?You're not half bad Boyfriend.

Player:I'm not anyone's boyfriend!

Girlfriend:Not yet,but if you beat Genty Dearest on this final chorus,you just might be!

Player:Really?

Genty Dearest:Don't get to excited.Here we go.

[Song continues]

[Song ends]

Genty Dearest:No!How could I lose to a sniveling,little brat like Boyfriend?

Player:Once again,my name is Player.P-L-A-Y-E-R.Freaking write it down or something.

Girlfriend:Oh,Boyfriend.

Player:So I guess since I beat your dad and won his approval we're together now?

Girlfriend:Ah,maybe next week.

It's the Spooky Month!
Cap: So,you made it pass the old man huh? I gotta hand it to you Boyfriend, you're better than i thought you'd be.

Cheese: Yeah,but nobody´s gonna have to out battle Cap n' Cheese.

Cap: Yeah,we're gonna beat you down, there´s no way we´re gonna let Girlfriend date with a freak like you.

Player: You're literally sitting on your friend´s shoulder and I am the freak?

Cap: It make me seem taller and therefore more attracted to the ladies, isn't that right, Girlfriend?

Girlfriend: Not even in the slightest!

Cap: Cheese hoist me higher!

Cheese: I´m trying but you are too heavy!

Player: Can we just get on with the song already?

Cap n' Cheese: No problem buddy!

(Music goes on)

Cheese: Dang! This guy knows his right and lefts.

Cap: Not to mention his ups and downs.

Girlfriend: He's such a hunch!

(Music continues)

Cap: Come on man, we need to come up with better combos!

Cheese: Time to kick it into overdrive!

(Music continues)

(Music ends and Cap n' Cheese falls down)

Cheese: Is this the end?

Cap: Yes, because we lost a rhythm minigame, we shall now parrish.

Cheese: *grunts* Cheese Louise

(Lightning enters and kills them)

Player:This game is weird.

Girlfriend:On to week three!

Assassinated
Veto:Well,well,well.You think you can just waltz right into Friday Night Funkin' and win Girlfriend's heart without any repercussions?Not a chance.

Player:I just want to win a game for once that's it!

Girlfriend:He's here to assassinate you,Boyfriend!Watch out!

Player:Wait,what?!

Veto:Yup.Genty Dearest sent me here to kill you with this big,old gun,but I will only use that if I absolutely necessary.I would much rather have a musical duel.

Player:Fine!Let's do this!

Veto:You have no idea what you're getting yourself into here,Boyfriend.

Player:Listen,I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt because we just met,but if other people are telling you my name is Boyfriend,it's not.It's Player.Not Boyfriend.So yeah.Please don't call me that.Glad we can clear this up.

Veto:Alright Boyfriend,here we go.

[Song starts]

[Song ends]

Player:Yes!Yes I did it!

Veto:Wow was that a perfect round on your part?I didn't see you miss a single note.

Girlfriend:Good job,Boyfriend!You're one step closer to getting that big kiss from me more than anything!

Player:Yeah,yeah whatever.Did you see me during that song?I was killing it.Really feeling that "Friday Night Funk" right about now.

[Player accidentally hits Girlfriend]

Veto:Yeah,you did awesome man.Truly an amazing job.

Player:Thanks Veto.

Veto:Don't mention it.

[Girlfriend rises from the ground after Player hits her]

Veto:Well,it looks like I got to use this bad boy after all.

Player:Wait what?!?!

[Veto shoots Player till he dies and shoots him again]

Veto:So, uh Girlfriend.You wanna go see a movie or something or?

Girlfriend:AHAHAAAA!