Among Us Logic 7/transcript

Prologue: Movie Night
[Player is standing on the edge overlooking the lava pit on Polus. The other players, dressed as characters from various movies, stand a small distance behind him.]

Player: Please! You guys are making a horrible mistake -- It’s not me!

The Gentleman: (dressed as Gandalf) Be silent. Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.

Player: Wait, that kinda sounds like a line from Lord of the Rings. And why are you dressed like that?

[Sound of a lightsaber being activated, accompanied by Star Wars-esque music.]

Captain: (dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi) You were the chosen one! It was said you would destroy the impostors, not join them.

Player: Okay, that one was clearly Revenge of the Sith.

[Bold bagpipes music]

Mother: (dressed as William Wallace) They may take our crewmates, but they’ll never take our victory!

Player: All right, what is happening right now?!

Mr. Cheese (Dressed as Dorothy) Uh, Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Toto: Arf!

Player: That doesn’t even make sense in this context. This is madness!

Veteran: (wearing a cape and loincloth) Madness? This! Is! AMONG US!

[He kicks Player off the ledge. But before Player falls in the lava pit, the video pauses.]

Player: (voice over) So you’re probably wondering how I found myself in this situation. Well, let me show you the person who’s responsible for ruining my life.

[A still frame of Blue appears.]

Player: His name is Blue. Don’t be fooled by that folksy Viking look he’s got going on. This guy is trouble. Don’t believe me? Let’s go all the way back to the beginning.

Introducing Blue
[Rewind to the beginning of the round. Blue spawns in the lobby and approaches Player and Veteran.]

Blue: Hey guys. I’m new to this lobby. Just wanted to say hey before the game starts.

Player: Oh hello. My name’s Player. You can call my best friend here Veteran.

Veteran: Finally! We won’t be the biggest noobs here anymore.

Blue: No, I’m not a  noob. I played Among Us even before it got super popular.

Player: So why aren’t you playing in a lobby with all of your friends?

Blue: I mean, sometimes I do, but most of the time I hop into random lobbies and play with new people.

Veteran: I don’t understand.

Player: You mean you don’t play in the same core group game after game after game?

Blue: What? No. Uh, wait--do you?

Player: Yeah, pretty much.

Veteran: So, uh, what’s your character, kid?

Blue: I’m sorry. Character?

Veteran: You know. Your character. Like everyone calls me Veteran because I have a gruff voice and lots of video game experience.

Player: And my name is Player because I’m sort of the everyman that people can relate to.

Veteran: Well, plus you forgot to change your name in the game menus.

Player: Shut up, Veteran!

Blue: Oh, well, I don’t really have a character. In all the other matches I play, we usually just go by our colors. Just makes things easier.

[Beat]

Veteran: Are you literally insane.

Blue: I don’t know how to respond to that.

Player: So we’re just supposed to call you Blue?

Blue: Uh, yeah. Is that a problem?

Player and Veteran: (cough)

Blue: Anyways, you think you can introduce me to the rest of the players here?

Player: (sarcastic) What do I look like, the Gentleman?

[He laughs at his own joke along with Veteran.]

Veteran: Sick burn, Player!

Player: Thanks.

Blue: I am so confused.

Captain Oblivious
[The round begins. Blue is a Crewmate. There are two impostors among us. They all spawn on Polus. While the group disperses, Blue heads east on the map. He goes to the telescope, where Captain is.]

Blue: Oh nice. The align telescope task.

[Scene changes to Captain’s POV as he moves the telescope to focus on a galaxy.]

Captain: Wow. Space is totally dope.

Blue: It really makes you feel small in comparison, doesn’t it?

Captain: What do you mean? It makes me feel like a giant! ‘Cause I’m so big, and stars are so small.

Blue: What?

Captain: (“holding” a star in his fingers) See? They’re like little ants between my fingertips.

Blue: No, but they’re actually big. You understand that, don’t you?

Captain: If they’re so big, why do we need a giant magnifying glass to see them?

Blue: (losing patience) ‘Cause they’re really far away.

Captain: You just can’t keep your stories straight, can you?

Blue: Oh my God. Is everyone on this server an idiot?

Captain: Wow. You're so lucky my best friend Player isn’t around. He’d be furious if he heard you say that.

Blue: Player said his best friend was Veteran.

[Beat]

Captain: What.

Self-Report?
[Engineer’s body is reported, summoning everyone to an emergency meeting.]

Captain: All right -- talk to me, people. What’s the 4-1-1?

Player: Engineer and Gnome are dead. I saw their bodies over near Weapons.

Blue: Did you see anyone else?

Player: Nope. I was all alone.

The Gentleman: Well, Mr. Cheese and I were on the complete other side of the map. I believe Mother can vouch for us.

Mother: You betcha. I saw ‘em both in the specimen room.

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: PF here says he was in the office.

Veteran: You mean the place on the map or the television series?

Player: Obviously he means the place in-game, Veteran.

Veteran: Shut up! You don’t know! Maybe he was, like, an extra or something.

[A frame of Poopyfarts96 with the cast of the Office appears. A red arrow points to him with a “ding!” sound effect. Cut back to the meeting.]

Blue: Listen, guys. This sounds like a classic case of self-reporting to me.

Player: What? Why would I do that? (nervous chuckle)

Blue: Same reason everybody else does. To shrug off suspicion.

Mr. Cheese: Listen here, pal. There’s two things you need to know about this lobby. One, Player would never ever win, because he sucks, and he’s a giant noob.

Player: Hey!

Mr. Cheese: And two, my name Mr. Cheese.

Blue: All right, fine. Let’s just skip this vote for now. But keep an eye on Red. He’s sus.

Captain: Uhh...Red?

Mother: Yeah, who’s Red?

Blue: Ach, Player. I mean Player.

Five Nights on Polus
[Scene changes to Blue running to Security.]

Blue: All right. Time to catch this guy in the act.

[He flips through several camera feeds, until he comes to one of an orange tongue licking the screen.]

The Gentleman: (slightly muffled) Mr. Cheese! Stop licking the cameras!

Blue: What the?!

The Gentleman: You pitiful, mindless imbecile! Can’t you just be normal for two minutes?

Mr. Cheese: Ahem, the Gentleman? That’s not how we communicate with one another.

The Gentleman: (frustrated growl)

Blue: What is wrong with these people?

Veteran: The Gentleman and Mr. Cheese? Yeah, they have a very troubled partnership. They’re constantly fighting. But in a weird way, that makes me think that they’re gonna figure it out, you know? Like, I’d be more worried about them if they stopped fighting, because then you’d know that there would be nothing left fighting for. Real relationships aren’t perfect, and perfect relationships aren’t real.

Blue: What are you even talking about right now? I’m just trying to figure out who the impostor is.

Veteran: Oh. Well I don’t think it’s those two.

Blue: Obviously.

[Blue goes back to checking the camera feeds. He flips through a couple, in time to see Player sneaking up on Poopyfarts96 and killing him.]

Blue: Ha! I knew it!

Veteran: Huh. Guess you’re right. It was Player after all. Now flip it back to the Gentleman and Mr. Cheese. I’m missing all the juicy drama.

Blue: Shut up, idiot. Let’s go and report it.

Veteran: Wow. You may have been right, but I am really not vibing your energy, bro.

[Blue reports Poopyfarts96’s body.]

Caught Red-Handed
Blue: All right, everybody. It’s Player.

Captain: How dare you accuse my BFF! And without any proof, no less!

Blue: No, I have video evidence. I was in Security when I saw everything. Veteran can confirm. Go ahead, tell him what you saw.

Veteran: Well, the Gentleman and Mr. Cheese were really tearing into each other, but I think they eventually patched things up.

Mr. Cheese: Sure did! We found out that a healthy partnership is one based on honesty and mutual respect. Ain’t that right, the Gentleman?

The Gentleman: Sure. Whatever.

Blue: No! I’m not talking about some weird relationship drama! Tell him what you saw Player do.

Veteran: Oh yeah. He totally murdered Poopyfarts.

Everyone except Mr. Cheese: (horrified gasps)

Mr. Cheese: Gasp!

Player: No! It’s not me! I swear.

Captain: Sorry bestie, but it sounds like they caught you red-handed. Granted, your hands are always red, but the point still stands.

Player: Fine, vote me out. Then you’ll see I was innocent the whole time.

[The video pauses. Player narrates over the freeze frame of him pointing angrily.]

Player: (voice over) Yep, that was a lie. I was definitely guilty. I had “Impostor” written all over me.

[Video speeds up to the present, with Player about to fall in the lava.]

Player: (voice over) So now we’re here. And I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “How’s Player going to get himself out of this situation? Surely Player will be able to get revenge on Blue and come out victorious!” Long story short, I’m not.

Real Relationships Aren't Perfect
[Video resumes. Player unceremoniously falls into the lava, as the words “Player was an Impostor. 1 Impostor remains.” appear onscreen. Cut back to Blue.]

Blue: Ha! See, I told you guys he was the Impostor. I’m the best Among Us player ever. Nothing’s gonna stop me from--

[Mr. Cheese comes up behind him and knifes him to death.]

Mr. Cheese: GO BACK TO GAMETUNES, YOU STUPID BLUE BOY!

[He looks at the audience and addresses them directly while the credits roll.]

Mr. Cheese: (calmly) Seriously, though, this blue guy with the Viking horns is on our new channel, GameTunes. But it’s spelled T-U-N-E-S. Heh, get it? ‘Cause it’s gonna be a bunch of animated music videos. Like “tunes” -- very clever. If that sounds pretty awesome to you, that’s ‘cause it is. Check it out! Link’s in the description below. That’s it for this episode. Roll the credits. Oh, I didn’t realize I’d still be on screen. The other players will soon report me and end the game, so I guess I’ll take this time to talk more about relationships. Communication is one of the keys to a happy, successful partnership. You need to be open about your feelings, good or bad, and set realistic expectations for one another. Also, respect is a big deal, guys. Witho-without a bedrock of respect, you’ll begin to doubt each other’s intentions. You will judge your partner’s choices, and encroach on their independence. You’ll feel the need to hide things from one another, for fear of criticism. Oh! Here’s a fun idea: Create a shared goals calendar. Something financial, travel, or hobby-related, that you and your work associate have to work together to achieve. This helps you visualize yourselves together in the future, encourages discussion around lifestyle choices, and reminds you to support one another with accountability. Bye now. My name Mr. Cheese.