BOYFRIEND vs. SANS?! Friday Night Funkin' Logic/Transcript

Prologue
(Sans and Papyrus are running through Snowdin from Chara, who is chasing them.)

Sans: we should call undyne! this human's power is snow joke!

Papyrus: SANS! YOU DARE PUN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!

Sans: i just said that it was no joke, papyrus!

Papyrus: YOU THINK I'M DEAF? YOU SAID "SNOW" JOKE, PLAIN AS DAY!

(Sans trips, causing Papyrus to trip over him. Sans gets up and sees Chara approaching.)

Sans: hey, uh... listen! if you want to pass through here, go ahead! we won't tell undyne! what's one human?

Papyrus: SANS, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU! AS ROYAL GUARD TRAINEES, IT IS OUR JOB, NAY, OUR DUTY, TO CAPTURE HUMAN INVADERS!

(Chara walks closer. Their eyes are blood red, their smile is black and distorted and they hold The Knife in their hand.)

Papyrus: NO MORE RETREATING! HUMAN, PREPARE TO MEET YOUR FATE-

(Chara throws The Knife. It hits Papyrus, cutting his head off. His body collapses and disintegrates.)

Sans: papyrus!

Papyrus: THAT'S... NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. SANS, IF THE HUMAN ESCAPES, THEY'LL HURT EVERYONE! YOU MUST CAPTURE THEM HERE!

(Chara catches The Knife as it boomerangs into her hand.)

Sans: i can't. i can't!

Papyrus: YOU CAN, EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO. I'LL DO THE BELIEVING, FOR BOTH OF US...

(Papyrus dies as his head disintegrates. Chara turns to Sans, who runs away. They follow him to the Ruins.)

New Arrivals
(Meanwhile, inside the Ruins, Player and Girlfriend scream as they fall into the Underground.)

Player: Jeez, this power problem is getting worse and worse! Where are we?

Sans: hurts, doesn't it?

Girlfriend: My tailbone kind of does, yeah...

Sans: losing someone you love.

(Sans steps into the room, his pupils gone. He summons a Gaster Blaster and shoots Girlfriend, who is badly scorched, before collapsing.)

Player: GIRLFRIEND! What did you do to her?!

Sans: she's unconscious - for now. when i'm done, you'll both be goners.

(Sans' left pupil glows light blue.)

Player: Sans? I-I thought we were buds!

Sans: that was before - when your kind stayed above ground. the humans who enter our world only want one thing: genocide. i won't allow any more death, so it's my duty to kill you both.

(The boombox lands next to them.)

Player: You can try!

(Player and Sans sing "D.I.E.". Player wins.)

Sans: after all that training, i'm still too weak to beat a human... just make it quick.

Player: Dude, I'm not gonna kill you.

Sans: you... you're sparing me?

Player: As long as Girlfriend's OK.

(Girlfriend wakes up, now with a perfect tan.)

Girlfriend: All good over here. (Gasps) Better than good! I'm tan! Turns out all it took was dragon fire to give me that beachy glow I've been chasing!

Sans: you're lucky. when my brother papyrus looked death in the face, he didn't survive.

Player: That's awful! I'm sorry.

Sans: his killer, chara, is still out there. i'm training to take my revenge, but it'll be years before i'm ready to face them alone.

Girlfriend: Or we could fight him together now!

Sans: you mean it?

Player: Where do we start looking?

Sans: easy - the scene of the crime.