Among Us Logic 3/transcript

Prolouge
[Veteran is running through the hallways, fleeing from something]

Veteran: (panting) Where is she? Where is she?

[Gnome appears and chases him.]

Veteran: (more panicked panting)

Veteran: No, no, no, no! This is my nightmare!

Player: Don’t worry. I think you’re safe in here.

[Camera pans to show that Player is a ghost.]

Veteran: AAAAAH!

Player: AAAAAH!

Gnome: AAAAAH!

Veteran: Wait, uh, why are you yelling? Aren’t you the impostor?

Gnome: Oh, yeah.

[She stabs Veteran to death. The “DEFEAT” screen appears, with Poopyfarts96 and Gnome. She pulls his finger, releasing an atomic fart. Player respawns in the lobby.]

The Bet
Veteran: All right, that’s it. Let’s go back to playing Fall Guys.

Player: What? No! Just give this game a chance.

Veteran: I just think this game would be a lot better if I knew who the killers were from the start. And it was more about running away from the impostors than about solving a mystery. There coil be obstacles and booby traps to stop the runners. Oh! And when you cross the finish line, you’re safe forever, and you move on to the next round. Actually, you could probably just get rid of the impostors altogether, and make it more like a series of challenges that eliminate more and more people until there’s one ultimate victor.

Player: Okay, you literally just described Fall Guys.

Veteran: Exactly.

[The Gentleman and Mr. Egg walk up to them.]

The Gentleman: Ah, what a charming specimen.

Veteran: Who are you calling a specimen, pal?

Player: Hey, the Gentleman. Who’s your new friend?

The Gentleman: This here is my associate, Mr. Egg.

Mr. Egg: ‘Ello there, fellas! Mr Egg here. So nice to meet any acquaintances of the Gentleman.

Veteran: Okay. Are we seriously going to glance over the fact that he called me a specimen?

Player: What happened to Mr. Cheese?

Veteran: Wow.

The Gentleman: Err...Mr. Cheese and I came to a mutual agreement to terminate our partnership.

Player: I’m sorry to hear that, the Gentleman.

Veteran: Yeah, it sounds like you got dumped. Not surprised. You have horrible fashion sense.

The Gentleman: Why, I never. What could possibly lead you to make such a preposterous accusation?

Veteran: Dude, you’re wearing two top hats. That’s insane.

Player: It is a little weird, the Gentleman.

The Gentleman: But...double the top hat, double the fancy!

Mr. Egg: Hey! Show some respect to the Gentleman. He’s an Among Us legend!

Player: He is? I’ve literally never seen him win.

Veteran: Yeah, me neither.

Player: Veteran, you’ve only played one game.

Veteran: Yeah, and the Gentleman didn’t win it. Why are we arguing about this?

The Gentleman: Good sirs! I’ll have you know that I am an excellent Among Us competitor, and I take insult to your quips about my skill.

Mr. Egg: Top-notch comeback, sir!

Player: Prove it, then, and beat Veteran and I in the next round.

The Gentleman: Perhaps I shall!

Veteran: Or perhaps you shalln’t!

Gotcha! ...or not.
[The round begins. Player is a Crewmate. He spawns in MIRA HQ. Everyone except Veteran runs past him, exiting stage left. Veteran approaches him.]

Veteran: Are you crewmate or impostor?

Player: Crewmate. But even if I was impostor, I wouldn’t tell you that.

Veteran: Then I suppose I have no choice but to believe you.

Player: Wait. How do I know you’re not the impostor?

Veteran: I swear on all that is Fall Guys. I am a true-blue American crewmate.

Player: All right. You’re clean.

Veteran: Where’s your first task?

Player: Medbay.

Veteran: Me too.

[They start walking to Medbay. The scene cuts to icons of Player and Veteran moving across the map, while upbeat music plays. Then it cuts back to them walking through a hallway.]

Player: Wait. Hang on, Veteran. There’s people inside.

(Inside Medbay, the Gentleman and Mr. Egg are standing over Bro and Stoner’s corpses.)

The Gentleman: Quiet, Mr. Egg. We don’t want to be seen by any crewmates.

Mr. Egg: And what do I do with the bodies, the Gentleman?

The Gentleman: Well, nothing, technically. The game doesn’t allow you to move them in any way.

Mr. Egg: Ah! Brilliant observation, sir!

Veteran: Oh my God. The Gentleman and Mr. Egg are the two impostors. (whispering) What’s our plan?

Player: Their cooldown counters can’t possibly be used up already. I’m just gonna run in there and report ‘em.

Veteran: Yeah, we’re literally eyewitnesses. They gotta believe you.

[The scene cuts to the emergency meeting screen.]

Captain: Sorry, Player. I don’t believe you.

Player: What?! But Veteran and I saw them! We know that they’re the impostors.

Veteran: Yeah! And nothing on Earth will convince me otherwise!

The Gentleman: But I didn’t do it!

Veteran: Oh, really? Uh...sorry, man. I could’ve sworn I saw you in there with the dead bodies.

Player: Veteran, he’s lying.

Veteran: Dang. He’s good.

Mr. Egg: I can vouch for the Gentleman! He’s definitely a crewmate.

Captain: Hmm. I’m not sure who I can trust. What do you think about all this, poindexter?

Engineer: It’s Engineer. And according to my calculations, there’s a 12.5% probability it’s the Gentleman.

Captain: Thanks, nerd man. How you liking those odds, Poopyfarts?

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: (chuckle) Wise input as always, Poopyfarts. I move that we skip this vote.

The Gentleman: I suppose that sounds reasonable.

Captain: All those in favor of skipping the vote, say “aye.”

All except Player, Engineer, and Veteran: Aye!

Veteran: Aye! Oh, wait, no...I got confused again.

A Swift Kill!
[The scene cuts to Player and Veteran in the laboratory.]

Player: So you have a task in here, right?

Veteran: Sure do.

Player: All right. Go finish it while I keep watch.

[Veteran walks off stage left to do his task. Scene cuts to him holding a rock.]

Veteran: Hold on. This rock’s got a leaf pattern on it. Oh boy. This is turning out to be a real doozy.

Player: Hurry up, Veteran. The coast is still clear. But the Gentleman and Mr. Egg could be anywhere.

[Sound of a vent opening and flesh impacting.]

Veteran: Guh!

Player: Veteran?

[He turns around to see Veteran knifed in the back, with the Gentleman standing next to his corpse.]

The Gentleman: Veteran is no longer with us, I’m afraid.

Player: What?! The Gentleman?! How did you--

The Gentleman: The vents, dear boy. An impostor’s greatest asset.

Player: You’re gonna pay for this, the Gentleman! I’m gonna convince everyone!

A Strange Proposal
[The scene cuts to another emergency meeting.]

Captain: I’m still not convinced, everyone. I mean, on one hand, it could be the Gentleman. But on the other hand, it could not be the Gentleman. I think you see my dilemma.

Engineer: Well, now that there’s only six of us, voting someone out makes a lot of sense mathematically for the crewmates.

Captain: Whoa! Ease up on the science mumbo jumbo, Albert Brainstein.

Engineer: I think you mean Einstein.

Captain: Yeah, I’m pretty sure they didn’t name the smartest man in the world after his eins.

Player: Guys, listen to me. The Gentleman is working with Mr. Egg. If we don’t vote him out now, his reign of terror will continue.

The Gentleman: I say we vote out Mr. Player.

Mr. Egg: Egg-celent idea, the Gentleman. (chortling laugh)

Captain: Poopyfarts, what say you?

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: Nice. A little outside the box, maybe, but I like your style. Poopyfarts proposes we vote out the geek.

Engineer: Are you talking about me? Why?

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: Poopyfarts got a gut feeling.

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: And he’s not just talking about the extra-spicy burrito grande he had for lunch. All those in favor, say “aye.”

Everyone except Player and Engineer: Aye!

Captain: Then the vote passes! Sorry, Engineer...looks like your chances of survival are now zero-point-zero-zero-zero-zero. Percent.

[Engineer is ejected. He falls through the sky.]

Engineer: AAAAAAH!

[The words “Engineer was not an Impostor” appear onscreen. The scene cuts back to the cafeteria.]

Ghost Chase!
Captain: All right, Player. There may be something to your theory after all.

Poopyfarts: (fart noise)

[The scene cuts to Player walking through the automatic doors.]

Player: Okay. I just have to finish a couple more tasks.

[The camera pans to show Veteran, as a ghost, floating next to him.]

Veteran: Same, brother.

Player: (startled yelp)

Veteran: Yeah, I know, right? I’m totally a ghost now. Pretty sweet. Makes it way easier to do tasks when you don’t have the looming fear of getting murdered hanging over you.

Player: Speaking of tasks, let’s do the measure weather one together. It’s real simple. You just click the begin button.

Veteran: Huh. I don’t follow.

[Mr. Egg abruptly leaps out of a vent, does a dramatic spin, and superhero-lands on the floor. He has a knife.]

Veteran: Run for it, Player! I’ll hold him off!

Player: Aaaah!

[He runs through the automatic door. Mr. Egg phases through Veteran and chases him.]

Veteran: He got past me, Player!

[Player leaps for the emergency button and slams on it, calling a meeting. Everyone is immediately summoned to the cafeteria.]

Not Convincing Enough. ..
Player: Mr. Egg! It’s Mr. Egg! I was running for my life from him.

Mr. Egg: No, it wasn’t! I was running away from Player.

Captain: Hmm...Well, Player shouted first, so I’m more inclined to believe him. What are you thinking, Poopyfarts?

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: I don’t think so. I highly doubt they’d have access to that kind of technology.

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: Really? In the next 20 years, you say? That’s going to dramatically affect my lifestyle when that comes out.

Player: What are you guys even talking about? Can we focus on the game here? I’ve been telling you every round that it’s the Gentleman and Mr. Egg. And if we don’t vote one of them out now, we’ll lose.

Captain: How do you figure?

Player: The game ends when there are as many impostors as there are crewmates. If you vote me out now, and I’m not an impostor, it becomes 2-v-2 and the impostors win.

Captain: Really sounds like we shouldn’t vote you out, then.

The Gentleman: Yes, but the same situation applies if you vote for Mr. Egg and he turns out to not be the impostor.

Captain: Drat! Back to square one!

Player: Okay. Listen, Captain and Poopyfarts. I know I don’t have any hard evidence, but I want you all to look into your hearts, hear the sincerity in my voice--nobody wants to win the game more badly than me. But this is bigger than that. This is about justice!

[An American flag fades into the background while his speech continues.]

Player: This is about holding those impostors who eliminated our friends responsible for their crimes. This is for all the crewmates who have fallen in the line of duty. So please, please believe me.

Captain: (sniffles) That was beautiful, Player.

Poopyfarts96: (fart noise)

Captain: (more sniffling) No, I’m not crying. You’re crying.

The Gentleman: (soft sob) Your speech has moved me, too. Let’s do the right thing together.

Player: Really?

The Gentleman: Yes, really. (record scratch SFX) All those in favor of voting out Mr. Player, say “aye.”

Everyone, including Player: Aye!

Player: Oh wait. Dang. He tricked us.

The Gentleman: So long, Mr. Player.

[Player is ejected. He falls through the sky.]

Player: All right. Time I switched to another lobby.