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(Veteran is desperately running through the map.)

Veteran: (Panting) Where is she? Where is she?

(Veteran continues running as Gnome chases him to Storage.)

Veteran: No, no, no, no! This is my nightmare!

Player: Don’t worry, I think you’re safe in here!

(We see Player is a ghost.)

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Veteran: Wait, uh, why are you yelling? Aren’t you the Impostor?

Gnome: Oh yeah!

(Gnome stabs Veteran to death. She and PoopyFarts96 win. Everyone returns to the lobby.)

Veteran: All right, that’s it. Let’s go back to playing Fall Guys.

Player: What? No! Just give this game a chance.

Veteran: I just think this game would be a lot better if I knew who the killers were from the start. And it was more about running away from the Impostors than about solving a mystery. There could be obstacles and booby traps to stop the runners. Oh! And when you cross the finish line, you’re safe forever, and you move on to the next round. Actually, you could probably just get rid of the Impostors altogether, and make it more like a series of challenges that eliminate more and more people until there’s one ultimate victor.

Player: Okay, you literally just described Fall Guys.

Veteran: Exactly!

TheGentleman: Ah, what a charming specimen!

Veteran: Who are you calling a specimen, pal?

Player: Hey, TheGentleman. Who’s your new friend?

TheGentleman: This here is my associate, Mr. Egg.

Mr. Egg: ‘Ello there, fellas! Mr Egg here! So nice to meet any acquaintances of TheGentleman.

Veteran: OK, are we seriously going to glance over the fact that he called me a specimen?

Player: What happened to Mr. Cheese?

Veteran: Wow.

TheGentleman: Er... Mr. Cheese and I came to a mutual agreement to terminate our partnership.

Player: I’m sorry to hear that, TheGentleman.

Veteran: Yeah, it sounds like you got dumped. Not surprised, you have horrible fashion sense.

TheGentleman: Why, I never! What could possibly lead you to make such a preposterous accusation?

Veteran: Dude, you’re wearing two top hats. That’s insane.

Player: It is a little weird, TheGentleman.

TheGentleman: But...double the top hat, double the fancy!

Mr. Egg: Hey! Show some respect to TheGentleman. He’s an Among Us legend!

Player: He is? I’ve literally never seen him win.

Veteran: Yeah, me neither!

Player: Veteran, you’ve only played one game.

Veteran: Yeah, and TheGentleman didn’t win it. Why are we arguing about this?

TheGentleman: Good sirs! I’ll have you know that I am an excellent Among Us competitor, and I take insult to your quips about my skill.

Mr. Egg: Top-notch comeback, sir!

Player: Prove it, then, and beat Veteran and I in the next round!

TheGentleman: Perhaps I shall!

Veteran: Or perhaps you shallen’t!

(Player is a Crewmate. Everyone arrives in Mira HQ and all but Player and Veteran run off.)

Veteran: Are you Crewmate? Or Impostor?

Player: Crewmate. But even if I was An Impostor, I wouldn’t tell you that.

Veteran: Then I suppose I have no choice but to believe you.

Player: Wait. How do I know you’re not The Impostor?

Veteran: I swear on all that is Fall Guys that I am a true-blue American Crewmate!

Player: All right, you’re clean.

Veteran: Where’s your first task?

Player: MedBay.

Veteran: Me too.

(Player and Veteran walk to MedBay.)

Player: Wait. Hang on, Veteran. There’s people inside.

(Inside, TheGentleman and Mr. Egg are standing over Bro and Stoner's bodies.)

TheGentleman: Quiet, Mr. Egg! We don’t want to be seen by any Crewmates.

Mr. Egg: And what do I do with the bodies, TheGentleman?

TheGentleman: Well, nothing, technically. The game doesn’t allow you to move them in any way.

Mr. Egg: Ah! Brilliant observation, sir!

Veteran: Oh my God! TheGentleman and Mr. Egg are the 2 Impostors. What’s our plan?

Player: Their kill cooldowns can’t possibly be used up already. I’m just gonna run in there and report them.

Veteran: Yeah, we’re literally eyewitnesses. They gotta believe us!

(We cut to the meeting.)

Captain: Sorry Player, I don’t believe you.

Player: What?! But Veteran and I saw them! We know that they’re The Impostors!

Veteran: Yeah! And nothing on Earth will convince me otherwise!

TheGentleman: But I didn’t do it!

Veteran: Oh, really? Uh... Sorry, man, I could’ve sworn I saw you in there with the dead bodies.

Player: Veteran, he’s lying.

Veteran: Dang, he’s good.

Mr. Egg: I can vouch for TheGentleman! He’s definitely a Crewmate.

Captain: Hm, I’m not sure who I can trust. What do you think about all this, poindexter?

Engineer: It’s Engineer. And according to my calculations, there’s a 12.5% probability it’s TheGentleman.

Captain: Thanks, nerd man! How you liking those odds, PoopyFarts?

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: He-heh! Wise input as always, PoopyFarts. I move that we skip this vote.

TheGentleman: I suppose that sounds reasonable.

Captain: All those in favor of skipping the vote, say aye.

Everyone Except Player: Aye!

Veteran: Oh, wait, no, I got confused again.

(After the meeting, Player and Veteran go to Laboratory.)

Player: So you have a task in here, right?

Veteran: Sure do.

Player: All right, go finish it while I keep watch.

(Veteran walks to sort various samples.)

Veteran: Hold on, this rock’s got a leaf pattern on it. Oh boy, this is turning out to be a real doozy.

Player: Hurry up, Veteran. The coast is still clear. But TheGentleman and Mr. Egg could be anywhere!

(We hear a vent open and a stab.)

Player: Veteran?

(Player turns around. TheGentleman is standing next Veteran, who has a knife sticking out of the back of his head.)

TheGentleman: Veteran is no longer with us, I’m afraid.

Player: What?! TheGentleman? How did you--

TheGentleman: The vents, dear boy. An Impostor’s greatest asset.

Player: You’re gonna pay for this, TheGentleman! I’m gonna convince everyone!

(We cut to another meeting, revealing Gnome is also dead.)

Captain: I’m still not convinced, everyone. I mean, on one hand, it could be TheGentleman. But on the other hand, it could not be TheGentleman. I think you see my dilemma.

Engineer: Well, now that there’s only six of us, voting someone out makes a lot of sense mathematically for the Crewmates.

Captain: Whoa, ease up on the science mumbo jumbo, Albert Brainstein!

Engineer: I think you mean Einstein.

Captain: Yeah, I’m pretty sure they didn’t name the smartest man in the world after his eins.

Player: Guys, listen to me! TheGentleman is working with Mr. Egg! If we don’t vote him out now, his reign of terror will continue!

TheGentleman: I say we vote out Mr. Player!

Mr. Egg: Egg-celent idea, TheGentleman! Ha ha!

Captain: PoopyFarts, what say you?

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: Nice. A little outside the box, maybe, but I like your style! PoopyFarts proposes we vote out the geek.

Engineer: Are you talking about me? Why?

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: PoopyFarts has got a gut feeling.

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: And he’s not just talking about the extra-spicy burrito grande he had for lunch. All those in favour, say aye.

Everyone Except Player And Engineer: Aye!

Captain: Then the vote passes! Sorry, Engineer...looks like your chances of survival are now 0.0000%.

(Engineer is ejected. He is a Crewmate.)

Captain: All right, Player, there may be something to your theory after all.

(PoopyFarts farts. Everyone runs off as Player goes to the Balcony.)

Player: OK, I just have to finish a couple more tasks.

Veteran: Same, brother!

(We see Veteran as a ghost.)

Player: AH!

Veteran: Yeah, I know, right? I’m totally a ghost now. Pretty sweet. Makes it way easier to do tasks when you don’t have the looming fear of getting murdered hanging over you.

Player: Speaking of tasks, let’s do the measure weather one together! It’s real simple. You just click the begin button.

Veteran: Huh. I don’t follow.

(Mr. Egg somersaults out of a vent, holding a knife.)

Veteran: Run for it, Player! I’ll hold him off!

Player: AAAH!

(Player runs for the Cafeteria as Mr. Egg follows him.)

Veteran: He got past me, Player!

(Player manages to hit the button before Mr. Egg reaches him, calling a meeting.)

Player: Mr. Egg! It’s Mr. Egg! I was running for my life from him.

Mr. Egg: No, it wasn’t! I was running away from Player!

Captain: Hm... Well, Player shouted first, so I’m more inclined to believe him. What are you thinking, PoopyFarts?

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: I don’t think so, I highly doubt they’d have access to that kind of technology.

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: Really? In the next 20 years, you say? That’s going to dramatically affect my lifestyle when that comes out.

Player: What are you guys even talking about? Can we focus on the game here? I’ve been telling you every round that it’s TheGentleman and Mr. Egg, and if we don’t vote one of them out now, we’ll lose!

Captain: How do you figure?

Player: The game ends when there are as many Impostors as there are Crewmates. If you vote me out now, and I’m not An Impostor, it becomes 2v2 and The Impostors win!

Captain: Really sounds like we shouldn’t vote you out, then.

TheGentleman: Yes, but the same situation applies if you vote for Mr. Egg and he turns out to not be An Impostor.

Captain: Drat! Back to square one!

Player: OK, listen Captain and PoopyFarts. I know I don’t have any hard evidence, but I want you all to look into your hearts, hear the sincerity in my voice--nobody wants to win the game more badly than me. But this is bigger than that. This is about justice! This is about holding those Impostors who eliminated our friends responsible for their crimes! This is for all the Crewmates who have fallen in the line of duty! So please, please believe me!

Captain: (Sniffs) That was beautiful, Player!

(PoopyFarts farts.)

Captain: No, I’m not crying! You’re crying!

TheGentleman: Your speech has moved me, too! Let’s do the right thing together!

Player: Really?

TheGentleman: Yes, really! All those in favour of voting out Mr. Player say aye.

Everyone: Aye!

Player: Oh wait, dang, I got confused.

TheGentleman: So long, Mr. Player!

(Player is ejected.)

Player: All right, time I switched to another lobby.)

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