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Intro[]
(We see Brookhaven at night. Mr. Cheese nervously peeks out of an alleyway. We then see him running down it, panting. Piggy's silhouette can be seen on the wall, slowly walking in his direction with a baseball bat.)
Mr. Cheese: Oh, jeez!
(Mr. Cheese is cornered.)
Mr. Cheese: Who's there?!
(Piggy oinks scarily.)
Mr. Cheese: Whoever's there, please don't hurt me! I'll give you all my Robux!
(Mr. Cheese backs away slowly, only to bump into Piggy. He turns around slowly before his eyes widen in fear. Piggy swings its bat, and the screen cuts to black.)
Mr. Cheese: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Scene 1: Brookhaven[]
(The sky clouds over. We see Mr. Cheese's corpse, with a white line chalked around the body. A few strips of bacon can be seen lying next to him. Player then arrives.)
Player: Ah, so this is Roblox. Wait, what's happening?
Bro: Everyone, please stand back!
(Bro walks up to Player.)
Bro: I said stand back! This is a crime scene, and I won't have anyone tampering with the evidence.
Player: Is that... bacon?
Bro: Player? What are you doing here?
Player: I decided to finally try out Roblox.
Bro: Boy, you picked the wrong day to join Brookhaven RP.
Player: I don't understand. What happened?
Bro: Homicide, third victim this week.
(The camera zooms in on the bacon.)
Player: Is that... Mr. Cheese?!
Bro: Right so.
Player: What's with the bacon next to him?
Bro: Oh, that. Yeah, we found some bacon strips on the body. We'll have forensics run them for DNA.
Player: Bacon strips?
Bro: I don't like the look of it. It might be a calling card. All signs point to, uh... Piggy.
Player: Piggy?
Bro: Shh! Keep your voice down! We don't want to cause a panic now, do we?
Player: I don't understand. Who's Piggy?
Bro: Listen up. if you're gonna last 5 minutes in this lobby, you gotta watch your back.
(The screen shows Piggy tapping its bat in its hands while staring at the screen sinisterly.)
Bro: Piggy is what they call that monster. Others call it The Butcher, El Cerdo, The Hog from Heck, but no matter what name you give it, there's only one constant: it's a killer and it has no remorse.
(The screen cuts back to Mr. Cheese's corpse, now with a sepia filter, and then it shows Piggy standing over countless dead bodies.)
Bro: Piggy has taken the lives of countless players over the years, with the preferred method of slaughter being bludgeoning victims with a bat.
(We cut back to Player and Bro.)
Bro: Three sounds, Player: an oink, a squeal, and a thud. That last one is you hitting the pavement for the final time. The thing usually just holds up in its condemned house on the hill, killing passerbys that are just brave - or stupid - enough to enter its territory, but it seems of late it's gotten... gluttonous. God. Things like this just don't happen in Brookhaven. No, sir. In my 20 minutes on the force. I've never seen anything like it. It makes me sick.
Player: Uh... OK?
Bro: A word of advice from a friend: until we catch this perp, lee off the hickory-smoked ham.
(Bro leaves.)
Player: Roblox is weird.
Scene 2: Cap's Beans[]
(Later in the day, it is raining. Player walks into a coffee shop, Cap's Beans, and shakes the water out of his hoodie before going to the counter. Captain walks up to Player, wearing a brown apron.)
Captain: What'll it be, bub?
Player: Captain?
Captain: Captain, he-he-heh. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Not since the war, that is...
Player: Um, are you alright? Why is everyone acting so weird?
Captain: All of Brookhaven has been in a bit of a funk since the slasher came through last night. Police say they don't have any suspects, but my suspicion? It's got bacon head written all over it.
Player: Well, Bro seems pretty set on it being Piggy.
Captain: Piggy?! That's way worse than bacon heads, and that's really saying something! Bacon heads...
Player: There is one obvious way to tell if it's Piggy or not that no one's even considering.
Captain: Do tell...
Player: Well, head on up to Piggy's house and see if anybody's home...
Captain: ARE YOU CRAZY?! IT'S A DEATH WISH!
Player: It seems like the real death wish is just sitting here, waiting to be the next victim!
Captain: You know what? You're right. It's either get busy living or get busy frying... bacon heads.
Player: Seriously, what is your problem with bacon heads?
Captain: Bacon heads...
Scene 3: Piggy's House[]
(The camera shows the outside of Piggy's House during a thunderstorm. Player gently opens the front door, making a creaking sound, as he and Captain step inside.)
Captain: Wow, could you have opened that door any more slowly?
Player: I was trying to be sneaky!
Captain: Well, opening it slowly is what causes the hinges to creak. Here!
(Captain moves the door around. It doesn't make a sound.)
Captain: No sound! Pretty cool, huh?
Player: Could we please stay focused?
Captain: Absolutely. Now let's split up.
Player: Why?!
Captain: Well, to cover more ground, I think. All I know is in scary movies the characters always split up.
Player: Yeah, and most of the characters end up dying!
Captain: Do they? I never make it that far in. Too spooky!
(We hear the floorboards creak.)
Player: Oh, crap! I think I heard something!
Captain: Hide!
(Player and Captain duck behind an old couch.)
Player: Just keep quiet.
(Suddenly, Captain's phone starts ringing, playing a loud song.)
Player: Turn it off, turn it off!
Captain: I can't! It's my gold digger girlfriend!
(Captain picks up.)
Captain: Hi, snookums! How was shopping? Ah, oh good. You need what now? More Robux?
(An unknown figure towers over Player and Captain.)
Player: Captain, seriously, turn off the phone!
(Captain hangs up. Player and Captain turn around and hold each other, scared.)
Player: AH! IT'S PIGGY!!!
(The figure is revealed to be Bro.)
Bro: What the?! What are you guys doing here?
Player: Bro?
Bro: That's Officer Bro to you, Player, and I'll be the one asking the questions here. Now, what are you doing here?
Captain: We came here to try and solve the murders!
Bro: Think you're a couple gumshoes then, huh?
Captain: No, sir, I never chew gum. Unless it's Big Red. I just can't resist that sweet cinnamon flavour! But even then, I would never want to get it on my sneakers.
(Bro raises his sunglasses.)
Bro: Oh, and also a couple wise guys then, huh?
Player: I didn't say anything!
Bro: Well, you two just became our main suspects. Hands in the air!
(Bro whips out a pistol.)
Player: Whoa!
Captain: Easy, bro-migo!
(Bro takes out some handcuffs.)
Bro: Now put your hands behind your backs!
(Suddenly, a strip of bacon slips out of Bro's pocket. We see it fall to the floor in slow-mo.)
Captain: ...Bacon?
Player: Bro... it was you!
Bro: Now, just hold on a minute! It's not what it looks like!
Player: RUN FOR IT, CAPTAIN!
Captain: OK, but I don't understand why!
(Player and Captain sprint off.)
Bro: Get back here!
Scene 4: Alleyway[]
(Player and Captain hide in the alleyway where Mr. Cheese died to catch their breath.)
Player: I can't believe it was Bro all along!
Captain: Player, can we please stop running? I'm confused and chafing! It burns, Player! It burns!
Player: Bro killed Mr. Cheese! He's the killer! The bacon... it's his calling card! It's all coming together...
Captain: Because of bacon? That doesn't make any sense. Also, kinda weird they just left his body there, don't you think?
Player: Trust me, it's Bro. We're going to blow the lid right off this case! He's not gonna get away with this.
(Bro steps into the alleyway and points his gun at Captain.)
Bro: But I already have. You'll both be joining Mr. Cheese now.
Player: It doesn't have to be like this!
Captain: (Sobs) Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I don't want to die, Player! I own a coffee shop!
Player: So what's next? There'll be others you know!
Bro: And I'll deal with them too!
Player: Your secret will come out! You can't hide forever!
Bro: Enough talk. Player, Captain, time to end this.
(Suddenly, a gust of wind blows Bro's cap off, revealing he is a bacon head.)
Player: Wait... What?!
Captain: A bacon head! GROSS!
Player: Bro, you're a... bacon head?
Bro: Well, duh. Isn't that why you guys went running? You were going to rat me out?
Player: But... you killed Mr. Cheese!
Bro: I didn't kill Mr. Cheese! I mean, I did shed some of my loose bacon on his body, and some more back at Piggy's House...
Player: So... you aren't the killer?
Bro: No, I'm an officer of the law, bro-migo! I thought you were going to tell everyone I was a bacon head!
Player: No, I won't do that?
Captain: But I will! Bacon head! Disgusting!
Player: Captain!
Captain: (Scoffs) Fine. I won't say anything.
Player: So, all that stuff about Piggy...
Bro: I made it up to cover for my bacon at the scene of the crime. Was hoping I could keep you from telling everyone.
Player: But if you didn't kill Mr. Cheese, then who did?
Bro: That's the million Robux question. Maybe we'll never know. It might end up being one of those unsolved mysteries. A cold case.
Player: Sorry for accusing you, Bro.
Bro: It's all right. You know, it ain't easy being a bacon head. That hate, the secrecy, doesn't help that I constantly smell like pork. I'm really just a normal guy. I wish people would give the real me a chance. The whole time I've been on this server, I've been ridiculed for my appearance.
Captain: You're right. It's not fair!
(Captain takes off his hat, revealing he is a guest.)
Bro: You're a... a GUEST?!
Captain: That's right. The last guest, in fact.
Bro: We're sworn enemies.
Captain: Not any longer.
Bro: You're right. Maybe it's time we put this rivalry aside and turn over a new page. What do you say?
Captain: Sounds good to me, my bacon friend.
(Captain and Bro shake hands.)
Captain: Coffee?
Bro: Sure.
(Captain and Bro leave the alleyway, holding hands.)
Player: Wow. A life was lost, but I suppose everything today wasn't all bad. Makes you think. Our appearances may be different, but inside, we all have a lot in common.
(Player turns to leave, but suddenly, Mr. Cheese's corpse sits up. It is revealed that Piggy had disguised itself as it. It draws a bat and swings at Player as he turns.)
Player: What the?!
(The screen cuts to black.)
Player: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!